Patience and Gratitude

Ahhh. This article is as good as kopi Radix to me. I really need the motivation to move on! Got time ka? Read further here, specially to new mummies out there.

Whenever there are difficult patches in our lives we should remember Allah’s saying, the meaning of which is:

“Indeed after every hardship is ease, Indeed after every hardship is ease” (Surah ash-Sharh (94), aayah 6)

No pain afflicts a Muslim except that some of his sins are forgiven due to it. If things happened in labour, which you didn’t like, discuss with your husband how you could avoid those things in the future. But try not to over analyse things. Simply think of solutions and seek advice and seek Allah’s aid and move on. Deal with any major problems you can highlight to the hospital or nursing staff, but move on. We should remember to count the blessings in our situation and we will find that even though this testing time seems difficult to us - there will always be people who are being tested more than us and our situation is still much better than that of many.

If your labour was particularly difficult, think about Mariam (‘alaihas Salaam) and how she was all alone through childbirth, no hospital and facilities, no husband, no books telling her what to expect, no family support -and on top of that the fear of being falsely accused by her people and given a bad reputation. Allah tells us in the Qur’an, the meaning of which is:

“So she conceived him (‘Eesa) and she retired with him to a remote place.

And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm-tree: she said: “Oh! Would that I had died before this! Would that I had been a thing forgotten and out of sight!”

But (a voice) cried to her from beneath her saying: “Grieve not! For your Lord has provided a water stream under you. And shake the trunk of the palm-tree towards you, it will let fall fresh ripe-dates upon you. So eat and drink and be glad. And if you see any human being, say: ‘Verily I have vowed a fast unto the Most Gracious (Allah) so I shall not speak to any human being this day.’”

Then she brought him (the baby Eesa) to her people, carrying him. They said: “Oh Mariam! Indeed you have brought a mighty strange thing!” (Surah Maryam: aayaat 22-27)

She had no one but Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala to help her and of course He was enough for her.

Reflect on this: if labour pains are so difficult to bear, then how is it that we sin and do not fear Allah’s punishment which is more bitter and longer lasting? Should we not now think twice before we sin?

There are probably women in our own families who had much less than we do, less information, facilities and support all round. So we must be thankful. You will see that insha Allah, within weeks or months you will be physically healed and will become a lot more organized. Allah has made us able to adapt to changes over time, so we must trust in Him and ask Him to help us overcome any weaknesses we think we may have.